


28 Days of Commander Maleea Shepard

by ladyamesindy



Series: Maleea Shepard [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-16
Updated: 2013-11-16
Packaged: 2018-01-01 18:43:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 6,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1047293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyamesindy/pseuds/ladyamesindy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was a writing meme I did some months back that contains much in the way of background for Commander Maleea Shepard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What's in a Name?

1 // Forget my Name: What is Shepard’s first and middle name? Are they important or meaningful names? How do they feel about their name?

  
  


Maleea Robyn Shepard.  That’s me.  Mom and dad thought I was going to be a boy and were ready to name me Malcolm after my maternal grandfather.  Maleea came about as a suggestion by one of the nurses.  A compromise of Malcolm and Maria (my paternal grandmother).  Mom liked it and it stuck.  Robyn, from what dad told me later, came out of a list of baby names that mom had put together.  Mom liked John, dad Robin.  Again, that girl thing about me got in the way.  After they found out I was a girl, though, they both agreed Robyn-with-a-y worked better than Joan or Johanna or whatever other variation of John they could come up with.  I didn’t know my grandparents, so I can’t put any value on the meaning of the names from that perspective, I suppose.  Growing up, I did get some grief from kids at school about how odd my name was, but by the time I was eight, most had just settled on calling me “Mal” so it became a rather moot point.  

 

As for my own feelings about my name?  Well, names have ... weight, I suppose.  Purpose.  Meaning.  If you have five people in front of you and you gave them all the name “Jane” chances are it wouldn’t work for all of them and they’d spend most of their time finding a nickname that works for them.  As far as my name goes though?  Well, I think it fits me just fine, whether it’s Mal, Maleea, Shepard ... hell, even Commander.  I am Commander Maleea Robyn “Mal” Shepard.  It all fits, and I can’t argue with that.


	2. All In the Family

2 // All in the Family: Did Shepard have siblings? Parents? How was their relationship with family members?

 

Growing up, it was mostly just me and dad.  I was six when we lost mom.  It was a long while before I understood the full impact of what had happened.  “Cancer” was just a word to me then, as large and ominous as the emptiness that remained when she was gone.  Dad did his best to explain it, or at least to give me some way to understand it.  That brought us closer together.  For the next ten years, that bond between us continued to strengthen as he taught me everything he could.  About anything.  Farming, music, books, movies.  He even tried to teach me how to fix the damned plowing machine.  Sadly, my attempts only made it worse.  Thankfully, it was on its last legs and about to be replaced anyway.

Dad was a farmer.  Taught me to read the land, the sky, all my surroundings like I would a book.  “Everything is telling you something,” he used to say.  “You just need to understand what it’s saying.”  I’ve lost track of how many times that ‘training’ has saved my life over the years.  Probably the one most important thing I can think of that he ever taught me ... and trust me, he taught me a LOT.  

Oh, we had a dog for a while too.  Not exactly sure what he was, but he came wandering onto our farm one day when I was about twelve and flopped down on the porch next to the front door as if to say, “I’m home.”  He didn’t have tags or anything, so dad suggested we call him Rover.  Neither the dog nor I liked that, so I suggested Red since he had reddish fur.  He seemed to like it and it stuck.  He was with me and dad right up to the end, standing and fighting beside dad as the batarians attacked, both buying me time to escape.  The last thing I heard as I ran was Red howling in pain.  I still wake up dreaming about that sometimes.

  
  



	3. When I was Very Young ...

3 // Starchild: How was Shep’s childhood? Friends, schooling - did they like where they grew up?

 

Childhood wasn’t too bad.  I wouldn’t say I was an outgoing sort of child, but neither did I shy away from things.  I just sort of ... took them as they came.  As previously mentioned, I occasionally was teased about my name, but once the other kids started settling on Mal, it stopped.  I had a core group of kids I hung out with from the time I started school up until I was sixteen or so, not much change over time there, so I guess you could say we got along well.

 

School ... well, for the most part it was okay.  I liked it well enough.  At least until that last year or so.  That’s when things got tough.  Most of that came about because I was starting to get antsy about what would happen next, after school.  Dad was teaching me about farming and all, but once my friends started talking about going elsewhere after finishing high school - for military training, more schooling, jobs, whatever - I realized that I’d always viewed Mindoir like a ... closed room, I suppose.  No windows, no doors, always inside.  Not that I felt trapped at all, but suddenly this whole, gigantic universe loomed out there.  It wasn’t just something to read about or watch in vids - it was REAL.  And I started having doubts.

  
But that’s another story for another day ...


	4. Bad Reputation

4 // My Bad Reputation: Is Shepard a War Hero, Sole Survivor, or Ruthless type? How does it affect them?

 

I was on shore leave, at Elysium, when the batarians hit.  It was ... a mess.  Totally unexpected.  Okay, well, maybe not unexpected, but at that moment in time, it caught everyone off guard.  It took an extraordinary effort to get free of it in the end.  There were a lot of casualties, too.  Soldiers on leave, civilians caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.  I hated having to rely on people not trained for the fighting.  Not because they weren’t trained or weren’t soldiers at all, but because it put them unnecessarily at risk.  As soldiers, WE were the ones supposed to be protecting THEM.  

 

I hate the fact they chose me as the face for victory there, too.  There were others, soldiers and civilians alike, who deserved it more ... but in the end, I was alive, I was able to become the poster-girl for the Alliance’s campaign, to recruit more soldiers.  I hated every minute of it.  Still do, for that matter.  I am a soldier, not a model, not a spokesperson.  It was a godsend when Anderson found me three months later and informed me that I’d been recommended for N7 training.  At least for that following year I could escape the scrutiny.  Naively, I thought it might end there.  Without me around, I thought, the attention would fade away.  I was wrong.

  
To this day, I start to panic if someone brings the topic up.  Kaidan did once, on the SR1.  I’m not sure what tipped him off, but he realized right away that it was not an open topic for discussion, and god love him, he began going on about his family’s orchard instead.  Too bad reporters can’t learn to do the same, right?


	5. When I Grow Up I Want To ...

5 // What If: If Shep wasn’t a soldier, what would they have been? What did they want to be as a child?

 

*sings*  “Well I was sixteen and sick of school ... I didn’t know what I wanted to do ...”**

 

As mentioned earlier, that last year on Mindoir I began to question whether or not I wanted to follow in dad’s footsteps.  To farm or not to farm, that is the question.  Dad laughed when I treated it like part of Hamlet.  To his credit, though, he understood my feelings and concerns, and told me we would figure out a way to make whatever I decided I wanted to do happen.  We weren’t ‘well off’ financially by any stretch of the imagination, but over the years he’d been saving up so that if I wanted to continue my schooling I could.  Apparently, that was something he and mom had decided upon when I was young.  

 

The only problem was, I didn’t know what I wanted anymore.  Before then, I was planning to stay around, to be a farmer like him.  But now?  I could quite literally go to the stars if I wanted.  I’ll never forget that last night dad and I were together, the night before the slavers attacked.  Dad and I were making dinner, Red was lying nearby watching us.  I’d been talking with a friend at school that day, a boy who had decided he was going to join the Alliance after he graduated.  Dad turned around and I remember thinking that he didn’t look nearly as surprised as I thought he should at the idea that I might want to be a soldier.  He just smiled and nodded.  Told me if that was what I wanted, then that was what I should do.  No arguments, no questions.  The events of the next night secured that future for me.

  
[[** Lyrics from “That’s Rock and Roll” as sung by Eric Carmen]]


	6. The Class-ics

6 // Keep it Classy: What class is Shepard? Did their class evolve over the course of the games?

  
From the moment I enlisted, I have always been a soldier.  I have no biotic abilities whatsoever.  My technical skills are so negligible as to be laughable.  As a matter of fact, I recall several instances where Tali, Kaidan and even Garrus actually did laugh at me because I couldn’t even hack into the door to my cabin when I managed to get locked out of it.  Give me a gun and I can shoot.  Give me a grenade and I can throw.  That’s about as simple as it gets.  Though, I will admit that I did learn to handle a gun - a shotgun, actually - from dad.  He was more concerned about me being able to protect myself on the rare occasions he left me alone on the farm.  From there I also picked up using a pistol.  When I arrived at basic, I was given training on other weapons, but my weapons of choice will always be the first two I learned.  And while I can see advantages of having biotics as a resource or additional weapon, it’s pointless to wish for since it will never be for me, right?  


	7. Armor It Up

7 // Chink in the Armour: What colours does Shepard wear, and why? Are they a fan of heavy or light armour?

 

I am a soldier, through and through.  I do not go into combat with the idea it is some sort of trial for a beauty contest or anything.  If I am in armor and have weapons in hand, be prepared for a fight - verbal or physical - because that is my purpose, my reason for being there.  I am a last line of defense.  If I am being sent in, you will have one chance - we talk it out, or you will lose.

 

That said, my armor serves two purposes:  It identifies me, tells you who I am.  N7 designation.  Black base.  White and red stripes.  It is my mark, my brand, if you will.  It is who I am.  It is a designation I take fierce pride in.  To change our colors is not forbidden, by any means.  But, I suppose in a sense you could say I’m a traditionalist.  Black.  White.  Red.  They are me and I am them.  We are one.

  
As for weight of armor?  I prefer that which is heavy enough to give me the protection I need, but still allows me to function as I should on a battlefield.  Extra capacity for ammunition is always a plus.  Any increase to shields, even better.  It (and my squad) is all I have as my line of defense.  The rest is up to me, to utilize my offensive skills in such a manner as to keep the battle as short and sweet as possible, to get in and out, accomplish the objective and withdraw.  Whatever helps me achieve this best is my choice.


	8. Weapon of Choice

8 // Weapon of Choice: Does Shep have a favourite weapon? A favourite method of killing?

 

My favorite weapon?  Hmm.  Well, I have to say I prefer the shotgun over any other type of weapon, though a pistol is my go to for backup and I’m just as capable with it as I am with any of them.  But as for a favorite shotgun ...  Tali and I have had this discussion many times.  James, too, for that matter.  My ‘go to’ has pretty much always been the Claymore.  Even after the Crusader came out, I was pretty stuck on the Claymore.  It was only after my Claymore was destroyed in the middle of a battle that I was forced to make a more permanent switch.  Since then, I’ve leaned more towards the Crusader.  

  
A favorite method of killing?  Preferably something along the lines of taking one shot only before moving to my next target.  If the enemy goes down and doesn’t get up again, all the better for me.  The faster they go down, the faster we win the battle, to my way of thinking.  Beyond that, I’m not fussy.


	9. I Feel Pretty ...

9 // Casual Affair: When not in armour or uniform, what does Shepard wear? What do they wear when partying?

 

Hmm ... what do I like to wear when not in uniform or armor?  Interesting, that.  Believe it or not, I prefer long, flowing skirts and, when cold enough, turtleneck sweaters.  In summer, a nice, short sleeved top will do.  However, life after the Alliance being what it is, I rarely have time to indulge in such things.  More often than not I’m in jeans, work boots, a t-shirt and an oversized flannel shirt to keep the chill away while tending to the daily happenings on the farm.  

  
As for the rest, I’m not really much of a partier here, though the rare occasions that I do attend someone’s soiree, I will dress appropriately.  For the very fancy occasions, I have the dress Kasumi gave me to wear at Donovan Hock’s party tucked away in the back of my closet and some strappy heels.  However, so far the fanciest thing I’ve attended in the past several years has been an evening barbeque here on the farm when Zaeed showed up while Jack was visiting.  


	10. Friends

10 // Friends 5eva: Who is Shepard’s best friend? Why?

  
My best friend?   Well, this could be a bit difficult.  I can’t say that I really have just one ‘best’ friend.  My crew as a whole - the people I am closest with, those with whom I’ve fought my way to hell and back - are probably closer to me than anyone.  They are my family now, I guess you could say.  I know if I ever need assistance or anything at all, they will be the first ones to respond and, most likely, fighting over one another to see who will get to help me!  


	11. Undercover Lover

11 // Undercover Lover: Who is Shepard’s love interest? Why?

 

During my career as an Alliance marine, I had but one love: the service.  Duty.  Being a marine.  Defending those who could not defend themselves.  I could not allow myself the luxury of personal flirtation or attachment, despite any interests I might have had.  Too much was at stake.

  
Since the end of the war, however, I have been busy establishing a life outside of the Alliance.  First I’ll get my home and life in order, then I can worry about finding someone.  Or maybe even reconnecting with a certain former crew member ….


	12. Got My Back?

12 // We Three: Who is in Shepard’s favourite shore party? Or do they chop and change?

 

My favorite shore party?  Well, I suppose that would depend on how you’re looking at it.  Over the years, I did juggle around a bit, trying to find that one, completely balanced group that brooked no argument from anyone.  However, no two missions was ever alike.  If we were going into one that I had intel on, one where we could make a somewhat educated guess to what we might face, then hell yeah, I’d take my go to team.  Ideally, I prefer to have a long-range specialist, a biotic and myself.  Back on the SR1, this usually ended up as Garrus or Ashley (bet you never knew she could use a sniper rifle almost as well as Garrus, did you?), Kaidan or Wrex and myself.  Once the SR2 came around, things changed up a bit.  While allied with Cerberus, I came to rely mostly on Garrus and Jack.  Zaeed and Thane were good backups too.  Grunt I had to take occasionally if only to let him out to run around and burn off some energy. (You know how it is with youngsters!)  Once the Reapers hit …  Well, that was tough.  I was ready to go with James and Kaidan, kicking ass and taking no prisoners, but after Mars, I had to rethink that.  Liara, now much more certain of her skills in combat, was a godsend.  

  
I’ll tell you, though, it was during that incident on the Citadel … not the coup attempt, though that was bad enough (Garrus and Liara there, no questions asked), but the one involving my clone.  I was never happier to have multiple squads than I was then.  We were a real TEAM, and I have to say, I was able to witness my crew - my friends - in a totally different light.  Pretty simple to say - I’ve got the best crew in the galaxy, and I’m glad I can rely on them when necessary.  I’ve not doubt they’ve got my back, always, just as I’ll have theirs.


	13. Travellin' Man ...

13 // Land Amongst the Stars: What’s Shepard’s favourite galactic location? Why?

 

I can’t say I have a ‘favorite’ location.  Over my years of service, I’ve traveled to many places, seen many interesting things.  I must admit I had a certain level of excitement the first time I traveled to Earth.  My parents and grandparents were from there, and I’d heard about it while growing up.  The curiosity of that place still remains with me to this day.

 

Outside of that, my first visit to the Citadel impressed me.  To see so many alien races I’d not encountered before interacting with one another … it was almost overwhelming … but in a good way.  It gave me hope for the future in ways I’d not expected.  

  
But beyond that, I suppose you could say my favorite place, if only because I returned here after the war, would have to be Mindoir.  There are many memories here.  Memories that will never leave me.  However, it was home once, and though it is not the same as it once was, it is home again.  I suppose I would not be here if it didn’t appeal to me on some level, though.  


	14. Birds of a Feather ...

14 // Man’s Best Friend: Does Shepard have any pets? Why/why not?

 

Ever since Red showed up on our farm years ago, I’ve tried to find a way to always have a pet of some sort.  It’s been difficult at times, mostly because of the moving around I’ve had to do as an Alliance soldier, but even if it’s just a moment or two spent feeding a stray cat or dog or something, I’ve taken the opportunity.  Why, you ask?  Well, the obvious reason is companionship.  Also, sort of a reminder of the good times when I was younger.  Then there’s the whole loyalty thing, and having someone you can talk to who doesn’t always talk back.  Plus right there.

 

It’s really sad how excited I became when I was finally able to get Mr. Wiggles on the Citadel.  He, at least, had a good chance of survival with me.  (The fish, sadly, did not until Kelly offered to help.)  However, to this day, I can say that Mr. Wiggles and the remaining fish (thank god for programmable feeding VIs!) are still with me.  They survived the Reaper War intact.

  
Since that time, I’ve also added to my collection.  Thanks to Zaeed, I now have a two year old German Shepherd (his idea of a joke) named “Chief,” and Jack, bless her crazy heart, decided I could use a biotic varren like hers.  Why, I’m not quite sure, but he’s not so bad.  “LT” and Chief get along fairly well together.  Certainly, they keep my life from being dull, but they are all definitely my family now.


	15. Faith

15 // In Something We Trust: Is Shepard religious? Do they have any key beliefs or moral motifs that guide them?

 

It’s difficult to find something to believe in when you’ve seen some of the things I’ve seen over the years.  I was six when my mother died.  Dad wasn’t very religious, but we did occasionally go to church.  One of those things he said mom would have wanted.  I suppose I found something in what was said there, though.  I mean, I turned out alright in the end, didn’t I?  I know right from wrong, I know how to keep wars from breaking out, or how to fight them when they do.  Hell, I even refrained from strangling that salarian dalatrass when she was being such an ass about curing the genophage, right?  That must have had some influence from somewhere.  

  
I will admit that there have been times over the years when I’ve leaned towards a more ... violent side of my nature I wasn’t even aware that was there.  After Mindoir, the first time I saw another batarian … well, let’s just say that I quickly removed myself from that situation before I did something stupid.  But all in all, I think there’s some value to religion.  Though we didn’t speak of it much, and their backgrounds are different from my own, I know Liara and Garrus both have some views on this topic as well.  And honestly, I think it’s some comfort to believe that there’s … something out there watching over us.  How far I believe that, well … it’s still something I think about now and again.


	16. Fire and Ice

16 // Fire and Ice: Paragon or Renegade? Why?

  
It really depends on the given situation.  I am by nature a person willing to listen, one who prefers diplomacy to fighting whenever possible, but I will not deny that there are times when a more renegade decision is necessary and appropriate.  During the war especially, in order to make the ‘disparate’ groups, as Councilor Tevos once put it, come together, it became more necessary to lean in this direction.  I have no qualms about making more renegade decisions in these situations either.  When Admiral Han’Garrel placed the lives of my crew in danger by launching his attack against the geth dreadnaught before we’d escaped, I was more than happy to make my displeasure with his choice known.  The most satisfying renegade option I ever took, however, was to let Kai Leng know in no uncertain terms that his death was retribution for the loss of Thane.  I believe Thane would have understood.


	17. Among Ancestors

17 // Among Ancestors: What is Shepard’s racial ancestry? Do they feel closely linked with their cultural identity?

My parents came to Mindoir from the southeastern part of the UNAS.  We’ve always been farmers, tracing our family back for many centuries to some of the first arrivals when the colonies were first being settled so many years ago.  Over the years, we stayed in the same area, farming the same lands and just simply surviving.  Though my parents chose to leave Earth to come to Mindoir for the opportunity to continue this tradition in a less crowded atmosphere, both made sure I was aware of our background, which really is a little bit of this and that blended together.   


	18. No Place Like Home

18 // No Place Like Home: How does Shepard feel about Earth?

 

Earth is a nice enough place to visit, I suppose.  You’ll have to forgive me if most of what I now associate with the planet are less than favorable memories.  Vancouver - great place as seen through a high rise window, I suppose.  London?  If you can ignore the rubble and destruction, then yeah, it’s not so bad a place either.  Rio?  I was so damned tired all the time from training, I hardly saw any of it.  Maybe someday I’ll go back, but I have no real ties there at the moment.  Not to say I haven’t heard good things about it.  James has told me about California, Kaidan about the orchard his family owns, so there’s some good there.  Like I said … maybe one day.


	19. Letting My Hair Down

19 // Down-time: What does Shep do for fun when off duty?

 

Let me see … what do I do for fun when off duty.  Well, that all would depend on where we were at the time, I suppose.

 

If we were on the Citadel, I can amuse myself in a variety of ways:  I always liked distance running, and trying to do that on a crowded place like the Citadel can be challenging, but I did find a way.  Other times, I’d just walk around and people watch.  But perhaps my one favorite activity was to go down to this little shop in the Wards that sold old-style Earth music.  They’d let you listen to entire albums before deciding if you wanted it.  Reminded me of the times dad and I spent listening to music at night, you know?  Of all the times I’d go down there, though, only once was I ever ‘found out’ by anyone … leave it to Kaidan to figure it out.  Told me he was honing his spec ops surveillance techniques, using me as a guinea pig, but I know better.  He has a weakness for old music too ….

 

Onboard the ship was another matter altogether.  I think probably one of the things I enjoyed most was going down to the shuttle bay while Cortez was working on the Kodiak.  We’d chat sometimes, stay quiet others, but whether we talked or not, the time was well spent.  It sort of reminded me of the times when I’d be around dad when he was working on the farm equipment.  There’s a peace to be found in those sorts of activities.  By that point of the war, it was harder and harder to find it.  

  
Then again, there were times I’d go seek out James for a bit of ‘dancing,’ too.  THAT was always fun.  But I have to admit, I did pick up a thing or two sparring with him.  I’d like to think he learned something too, but time will tell in that regard, I suppose.


	20. NSFW

20 // NSFW: Does Shepard have any fetishes, kinks, or turn ons? Or are they not very sexually inclined?

 

This is a rather personal question.  Did Joker put you up to this?  Sounds like something he’d ask.

 

I will state this again for the record:  since leaving Mindoir at sixteen, I was focused on one thing only and that was becoming an Alliance marine.  Which, I suppose, is just a roundabout way of saying that I never met anyone I particularly cared to become involved with along the way.  Well, that’s not quite true.  I did finally meet someone who interested me, but, well … timing and all.  Plus, I had it on good authority he was interested in someone else, so missed opportunities and all, I guess ….

  
To answer the question, though, I suppose I could answer it to a point.  I’m not dead, after all.  Well, not permanently, anyway.  What do I find to be a turn on?  Broad, muscular, shoulders.  True strength hidden behind a more gently nature, except when we’re in battle, of course.  Expressive eyes that can twinkle in amusement one moment, but still be hard and serious when the need arises.  Strong, capable hands.  Oh, and a very subtle, dry, yet encompassing sense of humor ….


	21. Human After All

21 // Human After All: How does Shepard feel about Artificial Intelligence?

 

Before my experiences with EDI and Legion and the geth, I suppose I didn’t have an opinion one way or another, really.  I mean, generally speaking artificial intelligence has it’s uses and certainly has a huge influence on how we live our daily lives.  In that sense, I suppose, I could see both how it could be a good thing or, in some cases, not so good.

  
But my experiences after meeting EDI and Legion - those showed me something different.  I can understand why some people might have trouble accepting artificial intelligences that have fully evolved and can think for themselves, might even be fearful of it.  Then again, I can also see how beneficial it can be.  I suppose, like with people, the way that an AI will develop is dependent upon its environment, the experiences it has along the way.  I suppose then, like with other people and races, you have to approach it with a certain level of trust.  I’m sure it’s much more complicated than that, but when it comes right down to it, I have no regrets in allowing the geth the opportunity to fully evolve.  I just wish that they hadn’t had to be the innocent victims in order to destroy the Reapers.


	22. Bending the Rules

22 // Exceptions to the Rule: What is the one thing that Shepard bends the rules for? Do they have a weakness, or perhaps a solid moral line they refuse to cross?

 

I am not one to bend the rules.  Rules are in place for a reason.  I may not always understand those reasons, but unless the lives of innocents are on the line, I do not usually question them.  That being said, if there is a better option available in making a particular decision that will have less of an effect on innocents, then yes, I might consider and have upon occasion bent the rules.  

  
I won’t call it a weakness necessarily, but I do believe that innocents should be protected.  Again, I won’t say at ‘all costs’ either.  If there’s one thing that the Reaper War proved to me it’s that there is a cost for everything.  I believe Garrus called it ‘ruthless calculus.’  At the time, I think I told him that math was my worst subject, but he just gave me one of those looks.  You know, the one that says, “Your humor tries to brush it off, but I know you know what I mean” ?  We had several discussions on that particular subject.  I always knew I could count on him to tell it to me straight, too.  He, above all others at times, knew just what I needed to hear to get me through, good times and bad.


	23. On the House

23 // What’s your Poison: What would Shepard order at a bar? Would they buy the drinks?

 

Well, let me see here.  Let me answer the second part of that first.  Buying the drinks always depends on the particular set of circumstances involved.  After a rough mission?  On leave and meeting with friends?  Similar instances to that one with Vega in Purgatory during the war?  Sure, I’ll buy the drinks, or at least a round or two.  It’s a small thing, one of those morale-boosting ways I can keep relating to the crew or other soldiers, you know?  Occasionally, I will even use the potential of buying rounds as conditions of a bet (I have been known to lose bets upon occasion).  

  
As for what I like to drink?  Well, I usually stick with the basics.  Beer is always a good option.  Sometimes I go for something stronger.  God, I think Alenko and Vega had to pry the bottle of whiskey from my hand after that fiasco with the clone.  It was full when I started that night, by the time they got it from me … not so much.  Oh, when we had that party on the Citadel, I did try one or two of those drinks … concoctions … whatever they were, that Traynor put together.  Those weren’t too bad, but not my usual ‘cup of tea’ I guess you could say.  I prefer to keep things simple.  Beer is simple, easy to get out here.  Then again … well, we won’t mention the bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy I have stored away for the good doctor’s next visit … at least, not until she gets here.


	24. Fancy Footwork

24 // So you think you can Dance: How bad is Shepard really?

 

Yeah, yeah … okay, so you think you can dance, right?  Well, despite the rumors to the contrary, so can I.  Passably.  Preferably with someone else leading, though.  Always seems to look better if someone else is involved.  Besides, if you’re not tripping over your own two feet and managing to stay upright, it’s dancing and should be considered good, right?


	25. Telltale Markings

25 // My Body is a Canvas: Ink, scars and piercings? Tell us all about Shepard’s markings.

 

Ah.  Hmm.  Well, how can I put this?  There’s people like Vega, unafraid of marking themselves up (not that I’m afraid to, by any means), willing to display it for the world to see.  That’s all good and well, but I never got into that sort of thing when I was younger.  Pierced ears was about all my dad would allow when I was a kid, which was fine by me.  

 

Scars?  Well, you’d probably say most of mine are psychological, but I’ve got a few, especially since that last battle that ended the war.  When I woke up in that hospital and realized just how bad off I’d been … well, to be honest, I was surprised I didn’t have more scars.  During the time with Cerberus, Dr. Chakwas performed a procedure to allow my Lazarus scars to heal, which was all good.  One less thing to worry about, you know?  But after the war, that time, I kept them.  My right shoulder.  Left hip.  Back of my left thigh.  Long, thin one down my left arm.  I even picked up a couple small ones on my face, though it’s hard to see them now.  Those I left as a reminder to myself … of who I was, of what I’d done, a reminder of why it should never happen again.

 

Now, the ink I have … well, that came about after the war.  Jack came to visit once, oh a year or so after I think?  I was still getting things set up here.  Anyway, we’d been sitting out back, drinking a few beers, and she noticed the mark on my left arm.  She knew about the rest of them, of course.  She’d been at the hospital while I was recovering.  But she mentioned in passing that if I wanted, she’d mark me with a tattoo to, I think the word she chose was ‘celebrate,’ my survival and our victory (things are still a bit hazy from that night).  Anyways, she gave me this swirling, looping design, even managed to sneak a few flower-like shapes in.  Covers my entire left arm, wrist to shoulder, down my back a ways and over my left breast too.  She told me if I want, sometime she’ll continue it down to my hip, to cover that scar there, but we both figured that for now it’d be safer to stop there.  After all, who knows how Dr. Chakwas might react to see that sort of design so close to where I had that surgery, right?

 


	26. Regrets

26 // No Regrets: But what does Shepard regret the most?

 

I think the thing I regret the most is always putting duty first.  Not that that’s a bad thing, and given the hell we’ve all been through these past few years, it’s probably been the best way to get through it, but … I find myself wishing now that I’d done some things a little differently.  Personally, that is.    

 

Back on the SR1, I remember Ash hinting pretty heavily that someone was interested in me.  She never did tell me who, though.  Kept it all this big ‘secret’ that she could tease me about.  By the time we were headed to Virmire, I could tell she was getting exasperated with me.  “It’s right in front of your face!” she said.  Told me if I didn’t figure it out by the time the mission was done, she was going to make sure I understood with no doubts just who it was.  Sadly, though, she never got that chance.  Losing her was rough, but it also drove home the idea that keeping things ‘strictly professional’ was probably better.  Because if I could lose Ash that easy, I could lose any of the others, too.  

 

I suppose it doesn’t really matter now though.  War is over.  I’m no longer Alliance.  Everyone’s going their separate ways, living their own lives.  Life goes on, right?  Missed opportunities are just that - missed.  No sense in worrying about what you could have had.  If it’s meant to be it will come around again.

  
But it sure would have been nice to know ….


	27. Headcanons

27 // In My Head: What are some of your personal headcanons regarding the Mass Effect universe?

_[[this list is hardly comprehensive and will likely be added to as headcanon ideas occur]]_

 

My headcanons:

 

  * Zaeed reminds me a bit of my father, if my father had been battle worn, had a more mercenary nature and cursed up a blue streak with every sentence he uttered, that is.

  * After the war, my injuries are such that remaining an Alliance soldier was no longer a possibility.  Through her Shadow Broker associations, and by my specific request, Liara was able to arrange the purchase of the old family farm and additional lands on Mindoir.  I came back here to exorcise some old ghosts and return to life as a farmer.  

  * When I left the Alliance and Council behind, I made a definitive split.  It’s all in the past now.  A part of me that no longer has a bearing on who I am or what I will become.




	28. Finality

28 // The End of All Things: How did it end for Shepard? Control, Synthesis, Destroy or Rebel? Or do you headcanon another ending?

  
From the beginning, I knew how it would end.  There was only one way to defeat the Reapers and that was to destroy them, once and for all.  Garrus and I once had a conversation in which he talked about the ‘ruthless calculus’ of war.  Through repeated interaction with the Reapers over the years, I knew there was no other way to end the threat.  To give them an opening, a chance of survival, no matter how it sounded like they might be willing to be ‘controlled’ or ‘synthesized’ into the last phase of evolution, I just couldn’t take the chance.  I had an opportunity to end it.  Once and for all.  And while it wouldn’t bring back those we had lost along the way, and ultimately cost additional friends and allies, I think in the long run it was worth it.  This is one instance where I have absolutely no regrets in my decision.  


End file.
